We are used to blame ourselves for past mistakes and the wrong ways taken. You forget too easily about what you did right (I bet there are tons of those) and fixate in your mind THE one thing you got wrong.
It’s okay, it shows you are humble and demanding to yourself. But you have to establish a limit with that too. Try to turn it on something constructive. I am the first one with loads of mistakes on my shoulders (loads). And I do regret most of them, but at this point on, I do accept them, and try to learn from them. Don’t forget them, but just do not trip over the same rock again and again. Your mistakes, don’t define you, so you shouldn’t dwell on them.
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Writing Down your Feelings
What is useful for me is to write down what’s torturing me. Don’t let your mind sweep you along. Take a paper and write what is consuming your thoughts. Be true, be humble, and be brave to face yourself.
When you’ve finished, read it as if you were someone else. It’s easier than it seems. But try to abstract and to take another point of view. Then, answer the following questions: was it that bad? That grave? Could you do something to avoid it? Or did you just deal with it the best you could? Was there someone else involved who was a bad influence for you to decide? Or were you alone? If that so, couldn’t you ask for help? Yes? No? Why? Maybe you need to refresh your circle of friends? Right now, can you see another solution you couldn’t see before? Why so? What’s changed?
Yes, it is a lot to take in at first, but in the end you get the point.
I guess you imagine what’s my message. I’m certain you will see yourself different if you get use to treat your mistakes this way. You will be more loving to you (because we use to blame ourselves in a more sever way than others). You will learn how to forgive yourself. How to free your soul from your own chains.
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